Gift to Bride (Tohfa e Dulhan)

Gift to bride (Toha e Dulhan), Compiled by Muhammad Haneef Abdul Majeed

FOREWARD

All praises belong to Allah and may His choicest mercies and blessing be on His Noble Nabi Muhammad (saw).

We present to our Muslim sisters the lives of six exemplary Muslim ladies from the best era, who displayed excellent qualities as wives and lifelong friends to their husbands. Islam has taught us perfect guidelines to lead our domestic lives and Rasulullah (saw) and the Sahabah have displayed excellent examples for us to emulate.
However, we have ignored these teachings and therefore instead of being happy, content, and successful, we have become miserable dissatisfied and unsuccessful. Married life has become a scourge for many. Disputes between couples, bickering between daughters-and-mothers-in-law, jealousy between sister-in-law and couples failing to fulfil the rights each other have become commonplace nowadays. The repercussions of this have adversely affected not only the married couple, but the entire families and communities.
By the infinite grace of Allah, and the direction of Hazrat Mufti Ahmadur Rahman, I managed to diagnose the principle causes for divorce and friction between married couples while serving the Ifta department of the Jamiatul Uloom Islamiyya.
These are:
1. Problems with mothers in laws and sisters in law (Husbands sisters, as well as husbands brothers wives)
2. Unreasonable mothers in laws
3. Ill-tempered husbands
4. Couples blaming each other for mishaps and constantly quarrelling.
Gift to Bride

Of course, wives are also to blame for such problems because of their immaturity, discourteous speech and inconsiderate behaviour. Fanning the flames of such squabbles are the insolent lessons that women learn from their mothers and other women coupled with the solidarity that mothers and sisters in law display in these situations. It has therefore been my aspiration for some time to compile for the muslim wife a book containing advices that would ensure that such disputed never arise. If (Allah forbid!) such a fire does catch on, these advices would serve to extinguish
it without destroying the beautiful garden of marriage, and without even uprooting a single flower from it.

By Allah’s grace, I also managed to read the book Shaykh Muhammad Ibrahim Saleem, titled “An Nisaa Howla Rasulullah (saw)”. It then occurred to me that based on this book and taking our present-day situation into consideration, I should compile a book dealing with the marital lives of six Sahabiya women so that their lives become role models for Muslim women to follow. In addition to this, the advices and experiences of our leading Muslim scholars will also be brought to the attention of our sisters, especially the gems from the lips of Hazrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi.

Because this book has been compiled with people’s current state of affairs in mind, the advice of various books has been randomly quoted in the best interests of today’s woman. Therefore, the traditional arrangement and classification of subject matter has not been employed. Scholars of literature are therefore requested not to judge the book according to their standards. However, should they detect any errors or omissions, they will do me a great favor by bringing this to my notice.

Admitting my incompetence and many faults, I present this book for all readers. Should any reader find any literary or subjective errors, she/he will share in the rewards gained through this book by bringing the same to our notice. This will Insha'Allah be corrected in future editions. Everyone who benefits from this book is requested to remember us in their du’as. We sincerely pray to Allah to make this humble effort a means of salvation in both worlds for us and for every couple. May Allah also end all domestic disputes because this is the secret formula for success and for love to develop between couples. In this manner, future generations will be able to live peacefully under the graceful shadow of their parents, ensuring happiness for all.